An American in Lucknow

Catchy isn't it. Once again here is the slightly less insightful, more scattered and a tad more dull version of our travels through the eyes of the other half. Shall we begin a story? Yesterday I received my first eyeball massage. Where you ask? What you ask? Let me explain...no, there is too much...let me sum up. Due to the fact that there is intense battles for the computer's here during the day, Marci and I have taken to working at night and doing other things during the day. Yesterday it was time for me to (ad-)venture out for my first, and long overdue, haircut in India. Marci has tried to suggest just shaving my head (not bald) but I just couldn't do it and asked for "shorter but the same" do from my barber who was fasting what looked like a tuxedo vest around him over his t-shirt. The only other customer in this room behind the pool table and TV lounge of a house/business/both? was a mid-20's Indian man who was smoking a cigarette and talking on a cel phone WHILE getting his haircut. Still unfazed, I proceed to sit quietly and everything actually goes like a normal haircut visit, except for a power outage in the middle of it (note: In India, no matter how big the city, there are power outages 2-5 times a day all at random times). Finally, I'm done and I am asked if I want "hair color" or "Facial". Seeing as the only hair color I see on Indian men is a weird orange-red dye, and I could care less about facials, I humbly reply "only haircut" which he repeats"Only haircut". Now things get weird (for me). He sprays my hair with water, and strat massaging my head/scratching it and then start clapping on it. Does anyone remember that whole "I am cracking an egg on your head" thing where you tap your fist on someones head and then run your hands down like the "egg is running"? Yup, that was next on the docket. Then he proceeds to massage my forehead and then eyebrows. Yes, my eyebrows. Take your thumb and forefinger and place them on top and below your eyebrow and rub back and forth to see that there is no pleasure in this technique whatsoever. Next, you guessed it, we move to the eyeballs (my lids closed of course). Now take your forefingerand middle finge, tightly together, and place them horizontaly over your eyes and "massage" with your fingertips. That's the good stuff, huh? So now I am thinking "Please don't tell me this costs extra" and I try to say "thank you" and get up, but am politely nudged back down as he tilts back the headrest and motions for me to lie back while he grabs an oversized tub on "facial moisturizer." Ok, I admit it. At this point I am in full on " what the h (mormon for hell) is going on here!" mode and am only kept in check by the guy's assistant/younger brother?who has been standing behind me the whole time looking bored and staring off into space mostly. I figure since he isn't showing any signs at all that this is weird then it must be "standard procedure" especially becuase most Indians stare at us (or even follow us ) for as long as we are in sight. Thus I allow the cream to be applied and it turns out to be the final part of the "haircut." I thank him and walk to the front wondering if he is going to tell them I bought the "facial package". Alas, all my fears were unfounded as they charged me the quoted 40 rupees (90 cents). He is still standing right next to me so I tip him 25% cause it is only 20 cents or so and make a beeline for my wife so that I can share this experience with someone before I die laughing.

Ok, so I gave you the long version, but I think the details were necessary. Otherwise things are going along quite smoothly here. The longer we are here the more it is apparent that stares mean curiousity and not ill-will, crowds become manageable instead of smothering and the culture is historic and unique instead of outdated or odd. I believe we are actually getting a better insight into the real India by living with Indians and staying in mostly one area than trying to see the whole country 2 days at a time. However, I am thoroughly excited for this weekend. In fact, we will be doing the 1 thing each of us most wanted to do in all of India in the SAME weekend! Marci will get to meet her "sponsored" daughter as we will travel to her vilage on friday from Kolkata. Then we go for a 1 night 2 day safari extravaganza into the Sunderbans where the world's largest population on tigers lives!!!!!!!!!! (Don't tell Marci that it is also the world's largest population of Man-eaters, too) Don't worry though, our guide supposedly survived an attack when he was a poacher and they only eat people who go deep in the mangroves to get wood or honey. We will be touring on a boat and will be fine!

Until then, this is Mr. Adventure signing off. Good night and good luck.